I Should Kill Him
by Nightlife666
Summary: Um cant really describe this one. warning abuse and rape mentioned. femslash eventually
1. Chapter 1

___**I should kill him**_

**A/N: I don't know what came over me to cause this story. **

Kathryn walked through the corridors of Voyager. Another sleepless night for the Captain. She walked through the doors of engineering and the engine crew snapped to attention.

"As you all were I am just taking a walk."

As she made her way around the warp core crew man stopped her.

"Captain may I have a word with you?"

"Of course Crewman what is it?"

"Well its Lieutenant Torres ma'am."

At the mention of her fiery half Klingon Chief Engineer Kathryn's eyes brightened and a slight smile formed on her lips.

"Well you see Ma'am the Lieutenant has been in her office all today and she hasn't left."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean she went in there when I left this morning and she is still in there now."

Kathryn had an uneasy feeling in her stomach now. She never knew B'Elanna to spend more than her shift in her office unless she had too.

"Thank you crewman I'll look into it."

She patted the young man's shoulder and walked toward B'Elanna's office. She decided to just walk in since she knew something was wrong and she wasn't going to allow the brunette a chance to hide it.

"Captain? What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing B'Elanna? You have been in here for 17 hours. Is there something you need to tell me?"

B'Elanna looked down at the floor and at her desk.

"Nothing to report Captain, the ship is running as it should. I have just been working on a possible way to get more use out of the deuterium we have so we don't have to find supplies as frequently."

Kathryn looked at her very skeptically.

"Let me see what you have maybe I can help, I can't sleep anyway."

B'Elanna hesitantly handed her a PADD and waited for her to look it over. She fidgeted a lot and it didn't go unnoticed.

"B'Elanna cut the crap," she put the PADD down, "What is going on? I have seen you work on things like this and gotten much more done if not had it completed by the end of your shift but you have been in here all day."

B'Elanna let out a shaky sigh and heavily sat down in her seat. Kathryn crouched down infront of her and waited for her to speak.

"I don't. . . It's Tom."

B'Elanna's voice cracked a bit and a single tear ran down her face. Kathryn wiped her cheek and waited for her to continue.

"He um. . . He attacked me last night."

Kathryn gave her the 'what the fuck are you talking about' look, a cross between anger and concern. B'Elanna let out a sigh; she rubbed her hands over her face and through her hair.

"He went to the holodeck last night so when I got our quarters I went to bed."

She took a deep breath not sure if she should continue. Kathryn put a reassuring hand on her knee. B'Elanna looked up into Kathryn's face and caught the support sadness anger and something else pass through her eyes. What that something else was she couldn't quite figure out. She had never seen it directed at her.

"B'Elanna?"

She must have been staring at her she shook herself back to reality and what she was saying.

"What happened after you went to bed B'Elanna?"

"Well I woke up to find him on top of me. I told him to get off but he slapped me. He told me if I opened my mouth again he would. . ."

She couldn't finish, she started to sob and Kathryn pulled her into her embrace. She started seething she wanted to put her fist through a certain pilot's face but knew she couldn't, wouldn't leave B'Elanna. Just then B'Elanna's office door opened and the sandy haired man stood in the door.

"B'Elanna what's wrong?"

He rushed over to her but Kathryn stood blocking his path.

"Tom get out of here."

He looked down at her questioningly.

"What? You can't stop me from seeing my wife."

He went to push past Kathryn but she shoved him back toward the door.

"Tom I am warning you. Leave her alone or…"

"Or you'll what? What is your measly little ass gonna do to me?"

He loomed over her but she showed no sign of fear. He stepped back a bit and threw his fist at her face connecting with her jaw. Kathryn went down landing in B'Elanna's lap who protectively wrapped her arms around her friend. As Tom moved over them B'Elanna let out a yell. The team in engineering heard their superior officer's cry and ran toward the office. The doors opened and two crewmen grabbed Tom and pulled him out of the room still screaming at B'Elanna. Two female crewmen stood over the other two women huddled in a corner of the office their Captain still wrapped tightly in their Chief's arms. One of them tapped her commbadge.

"Jennings to transporter room 2 emergency beam out, beam the Captain and Lieutenant Torres to sickbay."

The team watched as their superior officers disappeared in the blue light of the transporter.


	2. Chapter 2

I should kill him part 2

The doctor watched as B'Elanna and the Captain appeared on one of the bio-beds in sickbay. He walked over to them tricorder in hand.

"Lieutenant I need to scan her please lay her down."

B'Elanna didn't let go as a matter of fact she held on tighter. The doctor sighed and put the tricorder down. He stood next to B'Elanna and placed a hand on her shoulder. She cowered away moving the Captain with her. The doctor looked around helplessly. Then he got an idea.

"Doctor to Seven of Nine."

"_Go ahead Doctor."_

"Seven I have an emergency in Sickbay."

"_What do you need me for?"_

"The patient won't let me examine her."

The secrecy in his voice told her it was someone important to the ship. Seven left astrometrics and made her way to the turbolift.

"On my way doctor."

The doctor looked back over to B'Elanna who was shaking and rocking the still limp body of their Captain. Moments later Seven came in and looked over at B'Elanna.

"Doctor?"

"I need you to help me. Something must have happened that has made Lieutenant not trust me to be near her or the Captain for that matter."

Seven looked back over to the two women and watched the Captain start to sit up and B'Elanna grab her face and pull her into a light kiss. Seven's eyebrow arched high and looked back at the doctor who was not paying attention to them but to gathering equipment. He turned to her handing her a few medical tools.

"I need you to scan Lieutenant Torres while I examine the Captain."

"That shouldn't be difficult now."

Seven turned toward the two women who were lost in each other.


	3. Chapter 3

I should Kill Him part 3

B'Elanna slid her hand along Kathryn's cheek moving towards the back of her head.

"I didn't mean to hurt you before."

Kathryn nodded her understanding.

"You think he broke it?"

Kathryn looked at her eyes wide nodding. B'Elanna shook her head and placed a small kiss on Kathryn's lips.

"Captain, Lieutenant the Doctor and I would like to examine you both."

B'Elanna looked over at Kathryn scared. Kathryn placed a reassuring hand on B'Elanna's cheek, leaning forward to place another light kiss on her lips. She slid off the bed B'Elanna was sitting on and moved to the other side of the sickbay. Seven stepped closer to B'Elanna.

"I assume you and Lieutenant Paris are no longer a couple."

"Yes Seven that's correct."

Seven passed the tricorder over B'Elanna not seeing anything abnormal on her scans.

"Your scans appear normal. What are your complaints?"

B'Elanna reluctantly looked up and was about to answer went Kathryn's scream interrupted them. Both women moved to where Kathryn and the Doctor were.

"Captain?"

"Kathryn what happened?"

They came up to them as Kathryn swung at the Doctor. B'Elanna pulled Kathryn to her.

"Kathryn what happened."

She groaned and grabbed B'Elanna's jaw between two fingers and pointed at the doctor.

"Oh honey. Doc her jaw is broken."

The tears where falling down Kathryn's face from the pain. The Doctor moved beside them with an instrument to heal the break and a hypospray filled with a pain killer. He pressed the hypospray to her neck and waited for a moment for the medicine to kick in.

"Seven can you please finish the examination the Lieutenant."

Seven and B'Elanna went back to the bio bed and B'Elanna wasn't sure she could talk to Seven about what happened.

"You were going to explain what is wrong with you as well Lieutenant."

"I. . .Um. . . Seven I don't think I can do this right now."

B'Elanna pulled her knees to her and resting her head on them. A few moments later Kathryn was at B'Elanna's side rubbing her back.

"B'Ella you need to tell them what happened so the doctor can fix any damage he may have done."

"Any kind of damage who would have done?"

The doctor was getting impatient.

"Kathryn please don't make me do this right now I can't."

She buried her face in Kathryn's neck and cried.

"Can you two excuse us a minute."

Seven and the Doctor went into his office to give the two women some privacy. Kathryn sat on the bed wrapping her arms around the Klingon.

"Darling you have to tell him. If Tom did any kind of physical damage to you. . ."

"I don't want him to touch me. Please, please take me home."

Her cries were unbearable. Kathryn felt her heart breaking. She placed a light kiss on the young woman's head.

"Ok. Calm down first ok. You know Tuvok is going to have to talk to you?"

"I know. I just wanna sleep."

Kathryn placed her hands on B'Elanna's face wiping her tears away. She placed a gentle kiss to her lips.

"I'm going to talk to the doctor then we'll go."

B'Elanna nodded and watched Kathryn walk into the doctor's office.

"Doctor. I am going to take her to her quarters. She can't do this right now."

"What happened Captain? I have never seen B'Elanna like this."

"Nor have I." Seven commented.

"It isn't my place to say. I will have her come and talk to you in the morning. She needs to sleep."

The doctor nodded and Kathryn walked back to the bio bed.

"Come on sweetheart."

She opened her arms to the brunette and walked with her arm wrapped around her the whole way. Getting to B'Elanna's quarters the young woman froze.

"B'Elanna what is it?"

"I can't stay here."

Kathryn stood infront of her rubbing her hands up and down her arms.

"B'Elanna. . ."

"Can I stay with you please?"

"B'Elanna I. . ."

"Kathryn please I don't wanna be alone and I don't wanna be here."

The younger woman started shaking. It scared to see the young woman like this. To see how something could take a strong willed resilient woman and reduce her to a trembling bundle of frayed nerves.

"Ok. I will go in with you and we will get some of your things and we will go back to my quarters just please try and stop crying."

B'Elanna nodded. They went in and grabbed some cloths and other things and started toward the turbolift. Once at Kathryn's quarters they put B'Elanna's things down and they sat together for awhile. Eventually they ended up lying on the couch Kathryn holding the younger woman letting her cry. She hadn't realized she had been crying as well until B'Elanna whipped her tears off her cheek. Kathryn looked deep into the soulful brown eyes and she just wanted to take the hurt and pain away. B'Elanna put her head down on Kathryn's chest and wrapped her arms around her waist. Kathryn started rubbing her hand lightly up and down B'Elanna's back while the other played with her hair. Within moments B'Elanna was asleep and Kathryn could wake her so she sat back a fell asleep as well, holding the woman she loved so dearly.


	4. Chapter 4

I should kill him part 4

The next morning came far too quickly. Kathryn's alarm was sounding and her commbadge chirping. She looked down at the still sleeping brunette and wrapped her arms more tightly around her.

"Computer silence and reset alarm," Kathryn called out as she tried to reach her commbadge without waking B'Elanna. Finally grabbing a hold of the small metallic communicator she tapped it.

"Janeway here."

"Captain sorry to wake you but I just received a report from several members of B'Elanna's gamma team about what happened last night," Chakotay's voice came over the comm. "What the hell went on last night?"

Kathryn could feel the pain in her head rising already she didn't like this.

"Chakotay I want you and Tuvok to meet me in sickbay. A lot has happened last night but I have to get B'Elanna to sickbay and examined first. I will let her explain when she is ready. Meet us there in one hour. Janeway out."

Kathryn placed a light kiss on top of B'Elanna's head. The young woman stirred and looked up into the older woman's eye. She sighed and tightened her grip around Kathryn's waist.

"I was kind of hoping last night was a bad dream. Hoping it was that way you weren't hurt and but hoping not so I would wake up in your arms."

Kathryn rubbed B'Elanna's back soothingly trying to keep her as calm as possible. She just let her talk through her thoughts.

"I know I have to go to sickbay and let the doc look at me but I am so afraid of letting him touch me. I mean I know he won't hurt me but I can't stop feeling so embarrassed and uncomfortable. And I know I have to talk to Tuvok but I don't want everyone on board knowing what he did to me. Kathryn I feel so confused and my body hurts my heart hurts."

She looked up at the red head pleading with her through solemn filled eyes for guidance and security. Kathryn lent forward placing a light kiss on B'Elanna's lips.

"I will be with you through this every step of the way B'Elanna I will go with you to sickbay and to talk to Tuvok. I will give you all the support you need. I am here for you ok? I always was I always will be."

"Thank you. I need you."

They laid in each other's arms a few moments longer when Kathryn insisted they get ready to go to sickbay. She gave B'Elanna a towel and cloth to clean herself up with. B'Elanna reluctantly walked into the large bathroom and set up her shower. She unzipped her jacket and pulled the tunic off she looked at the large bruises covering her shoulders and chest and could hold it.

Kathryn could hear her sobs from her bedroom. She walked to the bathroom and called out, "B'Elanna let me in honey."

The door swished open and Kathryn rushed in and looked for B'Elanna who was now sitting in the corner.

"Computer turn off sonic shower."

Kathryn called as she knelt down in front of B'Elanna who immediately moved into her arms again. Kathryn caught a glimpse of the angry bruises on the young woman's upper body and she felt the flam of anger rise in the pit of her stomach again. She felt the urge to hit something anything she didn't care what it was but she had to stay there and be there with B'Elanna she promised. She pulled B'Elanna to stand with her.

"Do you want me to stay in here with you," she asked judging B'Elanna's reaction to the idea. The brunette nodded without looking up. She backed out of Kathryn's arms and pulled her tank top out of her pants and over her head. Kathryn tuned around to face the corner of the bathroom to give B'Elanna some privacy. B'Elanna put her arms around Kathryn's waist and hugged her tight.

"I trust you Kathryn you don't have to turn away from me."

Kathryn hesitantly turned around.

"I was trying to give u some priva. . ."

The word died on her lips when she saw B'Elanna covered in bruises and red bite marks. She found herself wish she could take the marks upon herself to free B'Elanna from the pain she knows they must be causing her. B'Elanna could see the hurt and anger in Kathryn's eyes and she couldn't help but back away a little. Kathryn looked down at the floor and then back at the young woman.

"B'Elanna I. . ." Kathryn didn't know what to say she was so lost in her thoughts.

"I know."

B'Elanna finished undressing and the marks on her legs and around her hips and bikini line made Kathryn sick to her stomach. She couldn't stop the tears from streaming down her face. She blamed herself and she wanted to kill Thomas Eugene Paris.


	5. Chapter 5

I Should kill him part 5

Kathryn sank to sit on the side of her tub covering her eyes with her hands. She wanted to scream she knew a visit to the holodeck would be needed she just would have to control herself to be there for B'Elanna.

"Kathryn could you please help me."

Kathryn stood up and walked over to the sonic shower.

"What do u need darling?"

"Help me out of here please."

Kathryn held a hand to B'Elanna and helped her slowly step out of the shower. She wrapped a large towel around her and body helping her dry off. B'Elanna watched every move she made with a careful eye. She wondered what she was thinking.

They walked into the bedroom and B'Elanna sat on the bed.

"I'm going to get your cloths love," Kathryn said. "Do you want anything while I'm out there?"

B'Elanna shook her head. "Just hurry back please."

Kathryn walked into her living space and grabbed B'Elanna's bag and her commbadge and went back into the bedroom. B'Elanna was standing in front of Kathryn's full length mirror. She had let the towel pool around her feet. And she was staring at herself hatefully.

"Lanna. Honey what are you doing?" Kathryn put her hands on B'Elanna's hips her long fingers covering the angry bruising on them.

B'Elanna lent back resting against the older woman. She hated what she saw hated the feelings rising up in her. She hated herself for letting this happen.

"I don't understand Kathryn. How did this happen to me?"

Kathryn looked at her puzzled.

"What do you mean sweetie?"

B'Elanna started shaking again so Kathryn grabbed her hands and pulled her away from the mirror toward the foot of her bed. B'Elanna wrapped her arms around Kathryn's neck and looked into her eyes. She noticed for the first time how her eyes were the same blue as the warp core and shone just as bright. She didn't want to look away. She leant forward and gave Kathryn a kiss on the cheek.

"Why did he do this to me?"

B'Elanna began to cry again. Kathryn pulled her to sit in her lap letting her cry.

"I don't know why B'Elanna but I won't let him hurt you again."

B'Elanna looked at her through her tears looking for reassurance and truth in the words she just heard. She wiped angrily at the tears on her face.

"I want the petaQ to feel the pain he put me through."

Kathryn nodded her agreement. She knew she would do something to this so called man when she got her hands on him but she was focusing on the fragile woman in her arms. She felt B'Elanna pull back and she looked into her soulful brown eyes.

"I am ready to go Kathryn. I want to get this over with and I want to move on."

Kathryn let her get up and then stood with her. She took her hand and walked to the door together heading to sickbay. They walked through the corridors hand in hand the whole way. Kathryn sent warning looks and every crewmember that passed. She found herself becoming very protective over the younger woman.


	6. Chapter 6

I should kill him part 6

Chakotay and Tuvok made their way to sickbay. A hundred different scenarios ran through Chakotay's mind. He wasn't sure why Tom had snapped like he did but he was damn sure he was going to find out. Tuvok stood ramrod straight his only sign of concern ever. Chakotay knew better then to think the Vulcan had any emotion towards what has happened but still there was a part of him that wondered if he had sense of worry.

Entering sickbay the two men saw the doctor and no one else.

"Doctor where are B'Elanna and the Captain?"

"I am sure they are on their way Commander."

"Doctor do you have any information on what happened to the Captain and Lieutenant Torres last night in engineering," Tuvok asked.

"All I know is something happened to Lieutenant Torres and the Captain received a vicious blow to the jaw from Paris. He broke her jaw in three different places and from what I have been told he only hit her once. I know that is not physically possible for him to do with one blow that was given in the way described. Something else is happening here."

The doors to sickbay opened and the two women walked in hand in hand. Kathryn walked B'Elanna to a bio bed and helped her sit on it. Chakotay looked very concerned, Tuvok's eyebrow nearly reached his hairline and the doctor brought over his tricorder.

"Captain could you tell us what the hell is going on," Chakotay asked.

Kathryn looked deep into B'Elanna's eyes knowing the next few hours were going to be very hard for the young woman. She tried to convey all her support and love in this look and hoped B'Elanna was reading it.

"Chakotay, Tuvok, Doctor we have a serious problem on our hands. "

Kathryn tapped her commbadge.

"Janeway to Seven of Nine."

"_Seven here."_

"Seven report to sickbay immediately."

"_Understood Seven out."_

Kathryn looked over at the three men.

"Gentlemen last night there was an incident between myself and Tom Paris. The night prior he did something inexcusable, disgusting, degrading and unforgiveable to Lieutenant Torres."

As she spoke the doors opened to sickbay and seven walked in.

"Computer seal sickbay doors authorization Janeway beta 4."

"What the four of you are about to hear from B'Elanna is not to be told to anyone ever. Doctor I know I don't have to tell you this but the three of you," she looked over at Chakotay, Tuvok and Seven, "are sworn to secrecy."

After receiving nods from them she turned to B'Elanna.

"B'Elanna," Kathryn grabbed her hand, "do you want the doctor examine you first or tell Tuvok and Chakotay what happened first?"

B'Elanna looked between the Doctor and Tuvok.

"Talk to Tuvok."

"Ok." Kathryn went to pull away but B'Elanna's grip tightened.

"You promised you'd be by me through this whole thing. Please stay with me."

Kathryn looked into her eyes. She saw the tears forming and her heart clinched.

"Ok I'll stay."

She sat next to her wrapping her arm around her shoulders. B'Elanna looked up at Seven and extended her free hand. Seven looked at her hand and into B'Elanna's eyes. Seeing the fear in her eyes she wondered what good a simple gesture as holding a hand or sitting beside will be, but seeing her Captain and mentor doing the same there must be some help in them. So she took the extended hand and sat beside her friend.

**WARNING the next chapter will be very graphic and I don't want to turn anyone off from the story so if you have any concerns plz PM me and I will write a more mellow chapter for you. Thank you.**

**Night**


	7. Chapter 7

I should Kill Him part 7

**A/N: I know I put out a warning last chapter about this one, it's still a bit graphic but not as graphic as I made it seem with the warning. I had to cut it back a little b/c it was bring back bad feelings and emotions that I don't want again.**

_Walking out of the Mess hall after dinner Tom and I walked toward the turbolift. I wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed him. _

"_So what do you wanna do when we get back," I asked._

"_Actually I have plans with Harry tonight," He said._

"_Oh ok well I'm gonna turn in then."_

"_Ok love you."_

"_Yeah you too."_

_We went our separate ways and when I got back to our quarters I took a shower and got into bed._

_Hours later I woke up with a weight on my chest. I open my eyes to see Tom, my husband of three years sitting on me._

"_Tom what are you doing?"_

_*Smack*_

_His hand connected with my face. I was in shock. He hit me so hard my face stung. _

"_What the hell is wrong with you get off of me."_

_He slapped me again and grabbed my throat and squeezed. _

"_You open your Fucking mouth again and I will kill you do you. Get it?"_

_I started struggling to get him off me. I pushed hard enough to the left to send him flying off the side of the bed. But he took me with him. He still had his hands on my throat. I pushed my thumbs into his eyes to get him to let go, but when I ran for the living area he grabbed my hair. I turned into him and ran driving my shoulder into his chest but his grip just tightened and he threw his arm around my neck. He lifted me off my feet and threw me onto the bed. He ripped my pants off and pinned my legs down with his knees. He had one hand on my throat and pulled shirt up by the hem so it covered my face but was stuck over my head. _

"_You scream and I'll snap your neck bitch and don't think I won't."_

_I can smell alcohol on his breath. It was horrible. I could feel his teeth on my neck and chest his nails going down my sides. I started hitting him when he moved his hands and he dropped bit my breast hard. I could feel the blood run down between them. I tried to get him off me but the more I moved the harder he bit me in places. That's when I heard him undo his fly. He pushed himself in me harder and harder. He started digging his nails into my hips with each thrust._

"I eventually passed out from the pain. When I woke up he was gone and I went into Engineering and stayed there until Ka. . . Captain Janeway got me. Then Tom came in acting like nothing happened and then he got belligerent and rude to the Captain and he hit her."

B'Elanna rambled on trying to get everything out before she had an emotional breakdown. Kathryn wrapped her arm around her shoulder and Seven squeezed her hand lightly.

She was shaking Chakotay could see that. He stepped closer to the bed But B'Elanna buried her head into Kathryn's chest. He knew it would take a long time for his friend to heal emotionally from such an attack especially from someone who was supposed to love, cherish and protect her. He knew B'Elanna could hold her own but the shock must have thrown her for a loop.

The Doctor rushed over with his tool tray and stood infront of the three women and gently placed a hand on B'Elanna's shin. She didn't flinch however her head did snap back.

"Lieutenant I know how hard this is for you but you have to let me examine you. The injuries that he could have given to you could cause serious problems for you in the future."

B'Elanna looked over at Kathryn.

"Please stay with me?"

It was more of a plea then a request. Kathryn nodded.

"Gentlemen, Seven please excuse us."

"Captain with your permission I will continue with the Commander to the brig."

Kathryn nodded and they left.

"I will continue my work in Astrometrics. Lieutenant. . ." Seven paused and turned back to her friend.

"His actions will not go unpunished." With that she walked out of sickbay.

Kathryn ran her fingers through B'Elanna's hair as she lay on the biobed. The doctor worked on his scans and did what he had to do to check her up. She could se B'Elanna's mind running a mile a minute.

"What are you thinking about?"

B'Elanna looked over to her.

"Thinking what would happen to him if things were different. Like if we were home and this happened he would be in prison and I would be in a hospital on earth. Or if this was a maquis ship he would be in the bed next to me after being beat down. "

"B'Elanna I can only imagine how hard this is for you honey but believe me I am not just going to let him sit in the brig."

B'Elanna was unsure of where she was going with this.

"You have a lot of people on this ship that love and care about you and believe me when I say this he will feel the pain he caused you."

There was something behind Kathryn's eyes B'Elanna had only seen a couple of times. She knew the look and in a way it made her feel protected. The doctor stood up with a sigh.

"Well you have significant damage to your cervix and your vaginal opening was torn. I can heal the bruises and bite marks and scrapes with a dermal-regenerator but the damage to your vagina will need surgery. I am going to be frank with you; you are going to be in a lot of discomfort for quite awhile."

B'Elanna nodded her understanding. Kathryn held her hand and kissed her forehead. B'Elanna looked into her eyes she knew she wasn't going to let him get away with what he did to her.


End file.
